Black in College

This past weekend into early this week I haven’t wanted to do anything but sit in front of the boyfriend’s computer and watch detective shows of one type or another. Today, however, I’m going to have to make it to at least two of my classes for two reasons: 1. I enjoy one of them and 2. We’re going to be reviewing information for the final exam in the second one. Right now, I have a B+ average in the second one (Geology) and because I missed a couple quizzes, I probably have a B+ in the first one (Human Evolution) as well. I did so well on the midterm and then there were some quizzes that I missed/choked on because I was too busy studying for other things. I’ve already missed three weeks of Sanskrit, so I know I’m on really this ice over there. For the remainder of the semester, I’m going to have to play on the fact that he likes me and probably at least somewhat believes my sob story. I should have just told him about my health problems, but maybe I’ll tell him about them in person–make myself look about as sad as I am.

So, news. I’m getting off birth control for three months, because apparently that’s how long it takes for birth control to clear one’s system. I think right now, birth control is the cause of at least half of my problems. When I first started, I wasn’t having any problems whatsoever. I started taking the pills through my period and then every couple/few months I would have a period just to bleed, get it over with, and then go another few months without my period. It was pretty good. But once I got my first yeast infection, the doctors gave me this medication that probably lowered the effectiveness of my birth control (as it warns on the outside cover), and I’ve been going through sporadic, terrible bleeding and either a residual yeast infection that just hasn’t gone away, or they’ve just been coming back. After I took the first yeast infection medication, my birth control just wasn’t working and in response to the breakthrough bleeding, the health clinic increased my dosage twice and then had my doubling up to stop the bleeding, possibly getting my uterine lining back to normal. It worked, but it couldn’t last, because it just wasn’t healthy. So I dropped to taking one pill a day after bleeding out again, but the dosage was still double of my first batch of birth control pills. This has been going on for over a year now, and this birth control business is becoming more trouble than it’s worth. The complications are ruining intimacy with the boyfriend, and putting me into depressions that just have to pass. I’m hoping that once I’m off birth control for three months, I can just bleed out, clear my system, and go back to the dosage I was on when I first started.

I recently went to see a doctor about going back to a lower dosage, but she was resistant to the idea, telling me that if I go back to a lower dosage then I may have breakthrough bleeding and if I have breakthrough bleeding, then that may mean that I’m not protected against pregnancy. Because I have insurance, I can at least afford to try it out, but she decided that instead of giving me one dose of yeast infection medication, she would give me two doses taken four days apart. Well, now I’m bleeding again and I don’t know if that had something to do with it, but this is the last time I let these doctors tell me what to do with my body. Over the past year and some change, they’ve just been flat out wrong, and now I’m going to treat myself and make my own decisions. I’ve been thinking about switching to “extended regimen” birth control pills instead of taking the traditional active pills all the way through. I’m sure insurance would cover it, since my birth control is covered this time around. And I’m not going to let those doctors talk me out of it. I’ve already made my decision.

There are a number of things I’m looking forward to this Spring 2009. For one thing, that would mean another refund check from the Cashier’s Office so that I can continue to pay my rent, buy groceries, and… live until I find a job. The last few jobs I applied for responded asking for my availability, and I haven’t received a response since then. And I’ve been searching the job database every few days with no luck. The only thing I could find that I may qualify for is a job with Summer/Winter sessions, so I guess I’ll send them an e-mail asking them if they’ve already found a candidate, etc. My only other options would be as follows:

1. Go back to CTAAR and ask them for my job back.
2. Go back to telefund for $10.50/hr
3. Apply to RU-Info, which only pays $7.15/hr

And, none of those options are any good for the following reasons:

1. Codename Automaton still works there a long with only one other girl. I’m not sure what either of their schedules are, but I know I won’t be able to deal with a mere $7.50/hr to put up with their nonsense. That kind of money was fine when my rent was only $365 a month, but I had a roommate and it wasn’t worth it anyway.

2. Telefund is the worst kind of job for people like me. I don’t mind helping people when they ask me for help with purchasing a certain item or finding out certain information (such is the case with customer service-oriented jobs anyway); but I can’t stand the idea of calling people up and telling them why they should be giving their money to Rutgers.

3. RU-Info, despite paying too little, requires a great deal of commitment for the peons who answer the phones with calls from concerned/meddling parents or scared freshman. They want meetings, various training programs, and a constant sunny demeanor on and off the phone. Sorry, no can do.

The additional money from my refund check will also go to furnishing my apartment (I still don’t have a frame for my futon mattress–I’m tired of sleeping with my head to the floor) and to investing. The boyfriend and I have already set up a brokerage account, it’s just a matter of having the money to invest. So, the both of us have two months to learn how to invest. I plan on looking at some library books, but my privileges have been suspended since I’ve been hoarding so many books in my apartment without returning them in time. I guess I’m going to have to figure out how to take care of that. Anyway, right now I’m looking into Netflix and Amazon–they seem like companies that are going to last through many people’s financial crises because people are going to be relying on them more to sell their own products and to buy goods at reduced prices. Not to mention, these are companies I have trusted for years now and their developments seem to be saying that they’re doing well.

Lastly, the Spring semester means looking for another apartment. I’m not sure if my apartment-mates M and J are planning on living with me again, because J is finicky and flaky and who knows what she’s doing to do at any given moment. M, on the other hand, is considering going into the PeaceCorps. It takes a while to receive an assignment, though, so I’m not sure why she would feel hesitant to say whether or not she would want to live with me unless she just doesn’t want to. That’s fine with me, I just want to live with Rai. Rai was a prospective apartment-mate last June, but she decided she wanted to live in the Rutgers apartments not too far from my place. Anyway, her numbers were too low and she didn’t get a place, so she ended up living in Highland Park across the bridge. Like me, Rai’s not happy with her messy apartment-mate either, so we have decided to live with each other. Whether or not that includes M is another story. I’m just tired of living with messy people with attitudes. One of my last apartment-mates (F) attacked me one morning for supposedly not cleaning my dishes when she was leaving tons of food and crap all over the place. And once it was time to move out she bounced and didn’t clean a damn thing. Psh.

Now I have to deal with J who is another one with an attitude. She seems real friendly at first, but I really should have gotten to know her habits more before deciding whether or not I wanted to live with her. She lived in my dorm at the same time I did, so I thought I knew her well enough. Nope. She seems to think that the kitchen is an extension of her room by proximity–leaving her garbage and crap all over the place. The only thing she does do is the dishes and she seems to think that that vindicates her completely. She has no idea how much time I spend trying to make the apartment habitable. If I never cleaned, I can only imagine what my place would turn into. What I would like is for J and M to move into together so they can realize just how disgusting the both of them are. I’ve already had a talk with M about keeping the apartment clean, but I realized it’s not my job to tell people how to grow up.

Alright, I’m getting hungry, so the boyfriend is going to have to wake up…

This morning, before I got a chance to read the Daily Targum, the boyfriend and I were approached by a Star Ledger reporter looking for our opinions on the big boo-boo on the part of McCormick. Apparently, although this comes as no surprise to me, McCormick gave this guy Mulcahy, the director of intercollegiate athletics here at Rutgers, a blank check to use in any way he saw fit for the promotion of Rutgers football (mostly) and the expansion of the stadium (which has been halted due to the recent financial crisis). Like many other discerning people at Rutgers, I thought it was rather obvious that there was something suspicious about the spending on sports-related endeavors at Rutgers–the football team being the most suspicious. For instance, I get an e-mail every couple of days promoting some game and the various incentives given to kids who want to go (and bring friends, of course). Now, the sports section in the Targum has an expanded section with full color (glorious) pictures of all the players. Not to mention, the somewhat recent controversy of players staying in hotels that were a little too expensive.

So.

Like I told the reporter, and like I’m telling you, this information came as no surprise to me. Although McCormick likes to send me e-mails about how great all of this sports publicity is for Rutgers, I’m having a hard time believing him. He has some trickle-down ideas of how funding Rutgers football more than any other department will bring wealth to all other research endeavors of the university. WRONG. While the stadium is expanding, the libraries’ books aren’t getting any younger, and the additional dorms that are going to be needed as Rutgers admits more and more imbeciles at higher and higher tuition rates aren’t going to build themselves. The only department that has seen major improvements is the English department–and that’s because the English department was already doing well. There are too many English majors to count, and because of their higher influence, they get better facilities, scholarships, prizes offered, and long-standing literary journals.

Now what is Rutgers going to do? Not a thing, according to McCormick anyway. They’re going to look into making their procedures “more transparent” blah blah blah. Yeah, right. So while you charge me mysteries fees without defined purposes that have literarlly doubled since my first year, I don’t get the education I was promised? An education that supposedly fosters research, and difference, and academic social niches? Nonsense. Any decently intelligent high school senior is going to take their money somewhere else, and I will encourage as many people as possible to do just that.

I had a very strange dream last night, that had me trapped until early this morning. The setting seemed somewhere between high school and college during the spring/early summer. I may or may not have been working in some kind of office environment with the CTAAR (an acronym for my old place of employment) girls (from real life), and a former friend of mine stole some expensive piece of equipment from the workplace. I bumped into him on a an extremely crowded stairwell and he yelled some mean comment at me. I confronted him, asking him what exactly his problem was, and then telling him what my problem was. I’ll call him Schizoid Man. So, after mild confrontation, Schizoid Man became a whole lot gentler and our conversation became a pleasant one. I managed to finagle the expensive headset from him and I took it over to the office to hide. Incidentally, the headset was broken, so I hid it in some drawer, hoping someone would find it after I was long gone.

On my way out of the office, I bymped into the CTAAR girls and I was suddenly holding and drinking from a hand-sized bottle of whiskey. I guess we made idle chit-chat until one of them decided they were going to point out the obvious, “Ursula, you’re an alcoholic…” Embarrassed, ashamed, annoyed, whatever, and suddenly wearing heels and business attire, I began to ran. I ran across streets and through grass, up and down stairs trying to get away from them. I decided I would visit another CTAAR girl in her dorm who was a business major. In reality, this girl never lived in a dorm. Once I got to the building, the other CTAAR girls were already waiting for her in some lobby/lounge, so I ran past them up the stairs. I went to a resident assistant’s room and asked for a tour of the dorm, pretending I was interested in living there the following year in an attempt to wait out their presence. The corridors of this dorm were very cramped, although comfortable–kind of like being in one’s grandmother’s house. I’m pretty sure it was an single-sex dorm for women.

For whatever reason, I decided I didn’t want the tour after all, so I asked the resident assistant if I could reschedule the tour, to which she responded, “No problem.” So I began running again, perhaps into some kind of woods this time. And that’s when the dream transformed in one of my many dreams about zombies. It was very videogame-like; my only goal being to kill as many zombies possible without getting killed myself. This is the dream that I would wake up to, running through dark, creepy hallways and stairwells, at times fighting zombies with my bare hands, at others slicing their necks/faces with a machete.

In other news, this evening, I had my pregnancy test done at the health clinic and it turned out negative. While the eager medical student looked on, the doctor told me the brown goo is most likely my vagina getting rid of some old blood–and that it’s nothing she would worry about. As per procedure, she’s going to run my vaginal fluids through the STI/STD machine and give me a call if something is amiss. I’ve had a million tests done ever since my first yeast infection screwed me up, and all of them have been negative, so I’m not worried about it. Especially since the boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Anything that I could have gotten from my ex (The Buddhist) would have shown up a long time ago.

Once the boyfriend got back from Douglass campus, he was convinced I was pregnant. I could see it in his eyes. But once I dropped the big negative, he calmed down a bit and we were able to move on to other topics. I’m getting real tired of talking about my vagina as often as I do. And I’m gettin’ real tired of old ladies sticking their fingers where the sun don’t shine, but it doesn’t seem like things are getting much better or much worse.

After we got back from the student center (unfortunately, our home away from home), the boyfriend and I indulged in some short, but sexy love-play. For now, all is good with the world.

Luckily, I have basic insurance through Rutgers, and I’m also covered under my step-father’s plan. The unfortunate part comes when I still have to pay for certain services that I just can’t afford. Copays are just too expensive for me, and my family has been sending me all the money they can. Meanwhile, I don’t have adequate clothing, I just recently purchased a winter coat, the heat in my cheap little apartment is going straight out the window, my teeth are rotting away, and my vagina problems seem to be reemerging.

This past Sunday morning in Matawan, I trudged on over to the bathroom, and upon wiping myself I saw light brownish, metallic-smelling… stuff on the tissue. I have no idea what this is about. I’ve been taking my birth control on time, the most recent yeast infection medication I took was too long ago to be effecting my birth control now, and given the fact that I am on birth control and have been enacting coitus interruptus with the boyfriend, I seriously doubt I’m pregnant. This is not to say, of course, that pregnancy is an impossibility, but it’s certainly quite unlikely.

I got a little caught up in studying for my Geology quiz earlier today and I forgot to call the health clinic to schedule a pregnancy test, but I’ll call them tomorrow and schedule my appointment for this Friday, most likely. By the way, if I seem a little nonplussed, it’s because this kind of thing has been happening to me for over a year now and I’m not exactly sure why. I’m beginning to think birth control is more trouble than it’s worth. It started out with a yeast infection, then I was having spot bleeding that turned into geysers. The bleeding subsided once the doctor told me to double up (after already increasing my dosage), but I had to bleed out completely before I could take my birth control as usual. However, after the bleeding stopped, the yeast infection didn’t go away, and I suspect the increased dosage of my birth control has something to do with it. The health clinic doesn’t seem to know what the hell is wrong with me, but I have a feeling that’s it. When I last spoke with a doctor about getting my dosage lowered, she showed reservations and said if spot bleeding were to continue it may mean that the birth control is not protecting me against pregnancy. But at this point, after spotting blood in my panties for no easily discernible reason, I’m going to have to do something to get this nonsense over with.

I’m sick and tired of having a vagina that makes me self-conscious–and I’m tired of worrying the boyfriend every time I tell him I’m heading to the health clinic. Each time he’s convinced it’s pregnancy and each time it hasn’t been, but I don’t know what else this could be, to be honest. Would I feel any different if I were pregnant? Would I have some kind of womanly intuition? Blah. Anyway, I have to get to sleep before it gets too late. I’ll be posting every day now just so these events can be explained and traced more clearly.

So, this weekend was more of a peaceful one, because the boyfriend and I decided it was high time to get the hell out of New Brunswick. This decision came, of course, after an hour of so of me crying, thinking about how terrible it would be to spend the weekend in New Brunswick alone at Olde Queens listening to the idiots outside fight about inconsequential things they wouldn’t remember anyway. A weekend of dealing with my apartment-mate’s messes and the pounds and pounds of spoiled food in my refrigerator. The boyfriend had no major objection to my attending, but I felt my presence would only serve as an intrusion to their familial festivities. This feeling goes hand-in-hand with my fears of dependence, etc. And at this point, as abandoned as I feel, it’s very possible that I am dependent on him–the consolation comes from the fact that he depends on me as well and we get each other through this hellish city.

In Matawan, his parents enthusiastically invited me to spend Thanksgiving at their house, despite my saying that I was still waiting for my parents to tell me what the plans are. My Mom says she doesn’t know (she’s thinking of asking Michael to take her to New York City, no doubt without the intention of seeing her daughter…) and my step-dad is waiting for my mother to tell him whether or not she’s planning on picking up my little brother. Even when they were together, my parents were extremely flaky and I never had any idea what we were going to be doing for any holiday. And that’s because my family lives all over the place and there are any number of places we could go to spend the holidays. Now that I’m older and my family has been separated twice (two husbands) I’m sick of the holidays. They bring me nothing but a sense of bitterness and general unease. I know my mother is happier in Ohio, but because of the move she’s left Dezden behind and she hasn’t been able to meet the boyfriend. I was trying to scratch up the money to take a train from NJ to OH, but the transitions between jobs made it difficult to save money as pesky things like groceries, cell phone bills, and the monthly rent got in the way.

My sadness also stemmed from my (biological) father’s birthday. It was two days ago and I wasn’t able to give him a call and see how he’s doing. I’ve sent him numerous e-mails asking how he and his wife are doing and asking for his cell number, but he hasn’t sent it to me and he still hasn’t e-mailed me back. I’m pretty sure him and his wife started a home business that is doing well… I guess… but that doesn’t mean he can’t take out some time to give me his damn number. What’s going on? He used to go on about how much he missed me and my sister and how he would talk about us all the time, but he hasn’t taken any opportunities to call or e-mail. I don’t know what his deal is, but if he doesn’t shape up I’m going to start giving up on him. I sent him an e-card not too long ago, so we’ll see how long it takes him to even read it, let alone actually send me a reply. Blah.

Matawan is a very boring town, which is exactly what I needed in order to retain some of my sanity. But upon returning to New Brunswick, I find myself angry and snappy once again. The boyfriend spent some time cleaning up his place and getting things ready for the week, but I already know I’m not going to class tomorrow. I just can’t. I haven’t done any studying and I’ve missed two quizzes for Sanskrit thus far. I’m a mess. I’ve been extremely diligent with my other classes, but I’m letting myself go with Sanskrit. I think there’s still time to pick up the pieces, but I’m going to have to give my professor the pity card. I’ll send him an e-mail apologizing and tell him about my new found job search and pitiful existence. I’m sure he’ll be able to at least somewhat understand–since it is true. Tomorrow I’m just going to have to catch up on some reading, get a ton of studying/homework done, and try to prepare myself for the end of this semester. Only about a month left! I’ve been extremely good with attendance until recently, so I think my professors will be a little easy on me.

Wish me luck!

This morning, while the boyfriend slept, I scrounged around the room for change to be used to help buy lunch this afternoon while I study and wait for Human Evolution to begin. I know it’s going to come down to dipping into the rent money to buy food, but this Friday my step-dad should be depositing $60 into my account, which will contribute to the rent and go to buying groceries for my apartment. It’s about time I start using the food thermos I bought a year ago for this very purpose–to stop spending money on the go and start making food the night before. My schedule (even though I am not working) is still very hectic, and I find myself staying up just to finish studying, let along try to cook a meal for tomorrow. It takes so much time!

This past weekend, the boyfriend and I spent a whopping $18.81 on groceries… That’s it! It was very exciting, and we decided we would go to the Farmer’s market once a week to save money. That makes a lot more sense than eating out. Unfortunately, however, trying to secure a cooking situation is not as simple as going into our respective kitchens and pulling out a pot. The boyfriend’s house is constantly a terrible mess, and although he and his housemate Al held a “house meeting” to figure out some kind of cleaning schedule, nothing ended up happening. Of course, I told him that would be the case, but he seems to think “the monolith” (my mocking nickname for our former friends–and his current housemates) will somehow see the light and decide to clean up after themselves.

My own apartment is not as messy, but it gets a little too close for comfort. My apartment is above a bar, and it’s broken up into three sections. There are three of us, so we each take a section and mostly keep to ourselves. The bathroom and kitchen are shared, and that’s where I get pissed off. On Monday, I took some time out to clean the kitchen and the bathroom, because I’d been away for the weekend at the boyfriend’s place and of course the apartment become a tragedy. It didn’t take me very long to get things cleaned and sorted–but the next day there was dried hair dye on the bathroom sink and big yellow globs stuck on the kitchen stove. I’m beginning to feel like someone is doing it on purpose, just to spite me. It never fails. I take a little time out of my schedule to clean up and it’s a mess very literally the next day. I’m pretty sure I know who’s doing it, but I hate the idea of having to sit people down and ask them to clean up after themselves. It’s embarrassing. We’re getting a little old for this nonsense.

Ugh. Anyway, I have to get going to class. Unfortunately, my quiz isn’t going to study for itself.

…finally emerges.

The View’s post-election episode was interesting, because they all praised “the youth” and thought about their children’s supposed brand new lack of limitations. But it’s just not true. People shouldn’t think that racial tensions and inequalities are now over because there will be a black president in a couple months. I do believe it’s a very important step for this country that we elect a president because of his credentials as opposed to how he can supposedly “relate” to the Joe the Plumbers out there. This doesn’t mean that we can get rid of affirmative action–that the playing field is now leveled and there’s no reason to help people (minorities, the disabled, women, etc.) who would otherwise be left to their own insufficient means. Sorry, but the existence of a black president is not the be-all and end-all of race relations. I would like to see an Asian American president, I would like to see a Hispanic president, I would like to see a Native American president, and I would like at least one of them to be a woman. Once we’ve truly reached the point of judging a candidate by qualifications, then these things will happen. And it’s going to take a long time for that.

Now, I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, but black people aren’t the only ones who struggle. It’s just that blacks have the worst overall history in just about all countries. Anyone with dark skin around the world knows what it’s like to be discounted and discriminated against–but we’re not the only ones.

But back to Elizabeth’s white guilt… It was really annoying to see her harp on all the great things about electing a black president now that McCain has rather graciously conceded. She didn’t seem to think that his being black was that important until “The Media” suddenly decided his race was important and that black people might actually have something to say about it. She didn’t want to feel bad about McCain’s loss so she decided, “Well, at least there’s progress in this country. See? A black man has been elected president.” All the comfort that people are taking in Obama’s win is a bit annoying, because I don’t believe in progress. The questions people have to ask themselves when they talk about progress: “Progressing towards what?” What, exactly, are we trying to attain? Some kind of perfect world where everyone has the same opportunities and everyone’s on a single, equal level? That’s just not going to happen. People are always going to find some way to discriminate against one another–it could be anything.

All “progress” does is give people different ways of hating each other.

My mother finally sent me some money about a week ago and I’m hoping to get some grocery shopping done tomorrow afternoon–or Saturday morning, depending. For the first time in a while, I checked my bank account balance to figure out if I have enough money for the remainder of the semester. With a little over $1,000 remaining in my account, that leaves about 2.5 months of rent money remaining. To pay for my cell phone bill and some food here and there, I’m going to use the money my step-father sends me every couple of weeks. Anyway, the money my mother sent should last me a decent period of time before I have to grocery shopping again. After winter break (late January), I’ll just have to get myself up at the crack of dawn and head to the Rutgers Cashier’s office to pick up my second refund check that should sustain me until it’s time for me to start applying to (possibly more permanent) jobs. I’m not exactly looking forward to having to work again, but I’m hoping financial aid and high pay will help me out. That way I’ll be able to work few hours with decent pay.

Another way to get some funding some Rutgers would be to transfer to Cook College–or what is now called the School of Environmental and Biological Sciences. I got an e-mail from dean or other saying that as a Rutgers College undergraduate, I can’t have Ecology listed at my first major because it’s a major associated with the SEBS. That’s even more motivation for me to apply to Cook in February for the Fall 2009 semester on. I’m just going to have to do what’s called a school-to-school transfer and I should find out the results at the end of June 2009. Obviously, this is a time of many transitions for me–but I’m hoping I won’t be making too many more. I’ve finally settled on a double major combination that I think is perfect for working with non-profits or governmental agencies as well as starting my own non-profit one day. You remember Organization for Cooperative Initiatives? Yup, that’s what I want to do.

In-between jobs as I am, I’ve been dabbling in other ways of making money online. One is with Triond, writing articles about things I hope people will find intriguing enough to read. It’s difficult trying to get people to actually put in the effort to read a longer article, and because I’m a pompous ass, my articles tend to be somewhat long. Not to mention, it’s difficult to create a title catchy enough to get people to want to click, read, and comment. One’s earnings are calculated based on how much advertising revenue is generated by clicks purchased items by people who read (or merely glance at) your articles. One of the important things about Triond is joining the community, because if you set up niches of writing friend networks than you’re guaranteed to get a decent number of readers.

One other Triond user actually recommended another way of getting traffic, and that’s via StumbleUpon Exchange. You create an account with StumbleUpon, then create an account with SUExchange. You browse through the Exchange, stumbling people’s sites and asking them to reciprocate. For every site you stumble, the owner of the site has to verify it, and then you get a point. The more points you have, the more exposure you have and the more traffic you can drive to your blog, your online articles, your myspace page–whatever. This blog is linked to SUExchange and I’ve managed to get a good number of clicks on my links because of it. An obvious downfall is that it’s quite time consuming, but if you’re like me and you have absolutely no traffic and no following–why not?

Without a television, I watched the election coverage on MSNBC live online already knowing Obama would be the 44th president of the United States. The anticipation came not knowing exactly what states he was going to win, and what his speech was going to be like. Having studied all day and all night, I went to sleep early and missed a bunch of calls telling me about the mobs and the jubilation. I’m very glad Obama has won, but I’m waiting to see what he’s going to do once he’s in office. If he is going to be able to fix the mess he will be inheriting in January–and how long it’s going to take before he’s involved in a scandal.

One thing I am getting tired of hearing is “Sarah Palin 2012.” I don’t want Palin to go back to Alaska, read some books, take a look at some newspapers and suddenly decides she’s ready to be the president. I am completely disgusted by her rejection of intellectualism, her willingness to incite racial insanity against Arabs and Muslims, and her supposed record of reform in Alaska that includes violating public trust (but then suddenly not being guilty, after hiring people to perform their own investigation) and using borrowed money to fund public projects and the building of infrastructure. I don’t find her in any way suitable to be president and I won’t find her suitable to be president in four years. Don’t her supporters find it a little odd that she wasn’t allowed to talk to the press/hold a press conference? It’s because they knew she was going to make a major gaffe and say something ridiculous or simply not true. It’s happened already, even when they were trying to give her a chance to just spout off.

On The View, they keep talking about how they can’t wait for the election to be over and how they’ve gained so much election-weight, blah blah blah. I hate election times not because people get really heated and passionate about politics–I like the fact that people get passionate. The problem is that after the election is over, people’s eyes glaze over and no one knows what’s going on anymore. I will not be proud of this country, or proud to be an American until people who have the opportunities to educate themselves actually go and do it–people who have the opportunities to be informed, actually stay informed. I see the idiots traipsing around in New Brunswick and I’m supposed to be excited about America’s youth as the future leaders of this country? Gimme a break. After Barack’s term is over, people will be hard-pressed to find a Negro light enough to win white people’s hearts.