Black in College

“No offense, but you are not my brother’s father–and you’re definitely not mine. At best, I’ll regard you as a friendly stranger.”

That’s what I felt like saying to Michael (my mother’s boyfriend) after my mother came home from work during her lunch break to call a house meeting. Then, I had to realize, it’s not him I’m annoyed with–it’s her. No matter what I try to talk to her about, it always goes back to Michael. She just can’t help herself. I’m glad she’s happy with him, and based on all of the things she says about him, it seems like he does indeed deserve a lot of praise. But when I want to talk with her–to bond with her by asking for advice about the boyfriend or something of the sort, she always manages to bring it back to Michael. I find myself angry and annoyed with/by him, but he hasn’t done anything wrong.

But the meeting: My mother wanted to call a meeting to make sure we all understood that their new place should be kept nice until they can afford to move into a nice, big, (no doubt) perfect house. She wanted to assure us that if Michael says something, it might as well be coming from her mouth, because they feel the same way about maintaining the new apartment, etc. After she finished her tirade, Michael went on an even bigger one. In a nutshell, he said he can never seem to catch a break. Any time he thinks he’s getting enough money to get his life back together, his ex-wife, his trifling sister, or some other idiot decide they want to take it away from him. Otherwise, he would be much more successful man, I’m sure.

In an attempt to set up good habits, they want to make sure all of us kids understand the rules of the new apartment. This is understandable–they want to keep their place clean so they can feel like they’re progressing to something better. But when you’re threatening my younger brother for accidentally dropping a pillow on the floor, then perhaps you’re being a bit of a stickler. And I don’t care how much my mother loves this man, he’s not putting his damn hands on my brother–he can get that idea right out of his head. (This depends, of course, on what the threat actually is. If it’s just threatening to take his toys away for a day, then fine.)

So, later today, after my mother gets out of work and possibly takes me to Kohl’s to buy some bras and panties, we’re all going to go to church for New Years’. I agreed just for the sake of making her feel good about the holidays. For whatever reason, she feels good after getting out of church, and she’d like us all to go. She thinks that will solidify out bond somehow–or create a bond in the first place. I’m not going to enjoy it. I’m going to hate being there, I’ll be bored, I’m not going to know anyone, and I’m going to feel somehow saturated by the incident. I hate being in church and having to deal with religious people. But I’ll go, because it will make her feel better about… whatever. It will make her feel content for at least a couple hours.

I’ll endure church in the same way that I’ve endured her boyfriends and their annoying families, like, I’ve endured her needy girlfriends, like I’ve endured cleaning up after her after she gives me a speech about self-sufficiency, like I’ve endured adapting through all the changes. But if things don’t work out with Michael, then I’m not meeting any more of her boyfriends/girlfriends, should she have any. I’m tired of being adaptable and understanding.

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