Black in College

Earlier this afternoon, I thought my precalculus class was supposed to meet at 1:55. After my morning ecology class, I spent the remainder of the late morning and early afternoon doing math homework to catch up with the assignments after my horrible stomach virus. For some reason, it felt like time was going in my favor for once. I finished some homework and even began to fully understand some concepts–until I walked over to the lecture hall at 1:35 (intending to catch my usual seat) to see the auditorium filled with students already. I initially thought the previous class hadn’t yet let out, until I remembered that my precalc class meets at 12:35. I am an idiot. I don’t know where my head has been at, but I seem to be making a number of different blunders like this lately. I figure I’ll e-mail the professor, explain to him what happened, and then just ask him my intended question through the mail. If I have to bring it up after class again next Thursday, then I’ll do that. Other than that, I’m just going to have to make sure I don’t keep pulling crap like this. Usually, I catch myself before a major blunder, but this semester has really gotten to about four different bad starts. Blah.

On my way back home on the Ride of Defeat, I grabbed a copy of the Targum. It appears that some intelligent young women with the student council on Douglass have been taking issues with the staff shortage and mismanagement at Rutgers. Obviously, it’s a product of the budget cuts, and the budget cuts are a product of the recession, but the last thing that should be cut after Rutgers has been admitting at least 70% of its applicants is the health services available to all of those kids. All the doctors and nurses I meet have a chip on their shoulder because they can’t catch a break. It’s ridiculous.

Another great point the ladies of the council made to the Health Center Director Lady is that there has been a lot of misdiagnoses on the part of the doctors and nurses. Apparently it’s happened to them personally–and you know it’s happened to me. It’s boiled down to me trying to solve my own health problems, and that shouldn’t be the case. As far as my yeast infection goes, I have no idea if it’s the same one or if it’s been just one yeast infection. I have no idea if the Boyfriend is a carrier and we’ve just been passing it back and forth. Who knows. I just know that I want it over and done with once and for all, and for some reason, Hurtado can’t seem to give me any reasons why it either keeps coming back or hasn’t gone away.

While I was squeezed on a Rutgers bus trying to get to one of my many classes dealing with the various aspects of soil existence, I read in the Daily Targum that apparently President Obama recently called on some pretty influential academics from Rutgers to help him set up a method of giving people of little means an education that does not involve sitting in a building that costs money to run. As one of many initiatives he seems to be working on, I think this is an extremely important one–for reasons that may seem obvious to you. While online educations are already available, they are still not as inexpensive. It takes time for a professor across the country to go online and try to get in contact with his/her students in addition to whatever other brick and mortar/field work they may be doing.

I think it would be a really good idea to find some kind of standardized system for people looking to get their education online–something that doesn’t cost as much, but offers a wide range of opportunities for people without money–or people who are just interested. As a matter of fact, I think it would be a great opportunity for people with knowledge in a bunch of different areas, but not too many credentials to earn some extra money on the side. I would think all the online schools already established would get a ton of applications all the time. I might even consider it myself. $15 an hour or so helping people learn some basic Geology stuff would really be a great job.

One of the things that continues to surprise me, is the demand for Rutgers experts in the government. There are some pretty impressive people out there, and there are a good number of them at this school–the school that has an acceptance rate of at least 65-70% at the undergraduate level. At the graduate level, however, Rutgers is more competitive than some Ivy Leagues…

I watched the first couple episodes of “Black. White.” with the boyfriend earlier this week, and he was extremely aggravated by the attitudes of the white family. I felt bad for subjecting him to that, because he and I are very open when it comes to discussions/jokes about race. The only time a discussion got a little heated was before Barack Obama became the President-elect. He said Obama is articulate, and I had to explain why that was an inappropriate comment. He was not surprised–I think he just didn’t realize what he was saying. After dating a psychotic African girl and then an eccentric black girl right afterward, he’s most certainly aware of our cultural differences.

After one episode of “Black. White.” he was done for the day, promising that we would watch another episode later (which we never did). He was pissed at the “surprisingly” ignorant white family for expecting a bigger reaction to their newfound black existence than they got, and I was pissed at the black family for not being able to concentrate more on their own experiences, rather than spending each episode schooling the white folks. Then again, I’ve only seen two episodes thus far.

The most annoying character for me was Bruno Wurgel, who spends every minute of every episode preaching positivism. He’s convinced that the only racism black people experience nowadays is all their own creation. He thinks if you have a positive outlook, no one can get to you–not even a vehement racist who shouts “Hey, nigger!” for no particular reason. My hope is that Big Man Wurgel will soon realize that he’s not going to get the type of racism he seeks; because interestingly enough, he criticizes black people for seeing racism when there is none, and yet even in black-face, he can’t see the fear or apprehension in the eyes of the white people he encounters. I guess white people do a good job of “just being polite.”

Really, I’m not sure what the black people are supposed to get out of the show. Perhaps they’ll realize that white people have more to do with themselves than sit around hating black people? I don’t know. I think Renee Sparks was right when she said that most black people don’t need training when it comes to “acting white” because they have to do so each and every day they go to a job interview, or attend a professor’s office hours… My mother trained me to impress many white person while I was growing up–and everything she’s taught me has been extremely useful. I make sure to keep my posture straight, shake hands firmly, and enunciate each of my words, occasionally even inserting an SAT word for good measure. These tactics will ensure that I am one of very few black woman soil scientists.

Besides the plethora of bad news regarding the opulent Douglass house, my weekend in Matawan has been decent. The boyfriend and I are not at square one regarding the apartment search because two people unexpectedly bailed out on us. I was so sure we had the Douglass house, and that we would find an additional person, but I was quite wrong. Now, the boyfriend and I are looking for a place together. Of course, there are the potential dangers of cohabitation, but as long as we each have a place to sleep and a different area to do our work, I think it should be fine. (As long as I can have my own nook away from the boyfriend.) If M stays above the bar, then Rai can move in with her and all they would need to do is find another tenant. I tried sending M a message, asking if she was going to stay at the bar, but she has yet to return my message. This is getting old.

In the midst of all this, I’ve been trying to get some freelance writing done and looking for jobs. There’s going to be a part-time and summer job fair in the beginning of February, so I’m definitely going to make time for that. I’ll try to make the boyfriend come as well. It would be nice if I had a little more security than this. Hah… The refund check should hold me over for five or six months, and I should be able to find a job by then. Not to mention the freelance writing I’ve been doing may gain some momentum, and could prove to be a decent supplementary income.

I woke up at one o’clock this afternoon with a dry throat, no doubt due to the space heater that’s been blasting for days on end. The boyfriend’s radiator hasn’t worked since the winter started, so every weekend I lug my space heater from above the bar to his place and back once the weekend is over. Eagerly pouring water down my throat, I attempted to log in to my new anime blog. Rejected. For whatever reason, the boyfriend’s internet connection is down.

Pissed off, I washed up and headed to the computer lab, thinking I would enjoy some quiet time with my anime blog, contemplating all of the wonderful ways I’ll be earning passive income by the time Winter Break is over with. Unfortunately, the computer lab is much more crowded than I was expecting–not too long into my stint at the lab I was confronted by lab assistants poking over my shoulder at my terminal and loud conversations from lab patrons. That’s right, now I remember why I’m going to be spending a huge chunk of my refund check on purchasing my own computer. I don’t care how much it’s going to cost me. When I’m trying to do my work, I should at least expect some semblance of peace and quiet. My freshman year, I was always relieved when loud patrons were shushed by the lab assistants. Now the lab assistants themselves are the problem–and I don’t understand why. Perhaps they’re simply not doing their jobs? One of these days I should try to send out an e-mail to their supervisor.

Anyway, on the walk over to the computer lab I was thinking of this website I came across a little over a year ago. It’s called Nigga Know. You may very well have heard of it. It’s this technology/pop culture/news commentary site mocking white people supposedly from the perspective of a black male. I think it’s pretty obvious that this site is not, in fact, run by a black man, but a bunch of white kids pretending to be a black guy making fun of white people. Don’t get my wrong–it’s an ingenious idea and I’m sure they get a lot of hits and make a decent amount of advertising money. But this reverse/hipster/postmodern racism is really beginning to annoy me…

NiggaKnow.com is just one of many sites run by white people, mocking white people. A lot of the other sites are written from a white perspective, but NiggaKnow takes it a little too far when claiming to be written by an angry black man who also occasionally mocks Asians and poor black people. When feeling uncomfortably racist reading “edgy” blogs like NiggaKnow.com, one must take into consideration their target audience: young, college-ages white men.

Now that I’m done complaining about that, my GPA for this past fall has been calculated, despite the fact that I still haven’t received my grade for Sanskrit–it’s higher than it’s been in a long time. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that I didn’t get that 4.0 I was so desperately dreaming about, but 3.62 isn’t bad either. I’m a little apprehensive about precalculus, but if I manage to get a decent professor, I can attend as many office hours as possible to at least let the professor know how hard I’m trying.

The Spring is when I’ll really be getting into my soil curriculum. The books are going to be quite expensive, but the refund check will help that out.

The boyfriend didn’t get to sleep until about six o’clock this morning, so he didn’t officially wake up until about five o’clock this evening. I woke up this morning a little after nine o’clock–and this has been going on since I returned from Ohio. Our schedules are completely out of whack with each other, but it actually works out pretty well. For instance, I got an entire day to work on another blog I call, “The Anime Connoisseur.” The first blog post is a review of the first three episodes of Speed Grapher, and the opening credits of this anime features the song, “Girls on Film” by Duran Duran. You can check out the link to the right of this page under The Soapbox. Anyway, I wish my new blog was a Today.com blog, but I added it to the directory, so that may help it get some exposure. I’m thinking that the use of Project Wonderful ads will help a lot. Apparently, some people make a decent amount of money running ads on their blogs from Project Wonderful–perhaps I can get in on the fun. In addition, Today.com seems to have gained enough faith in Black in College to allow me to apply for a second blog with them. Black in College was approved rather swiftly, so I’m hoping my new idea goes well. Thus far, I’ve managed to make a little over $35 with this blog since its inception in October. Not bad. I just wish the payout was $25, rather than $50.

In other news, the boyfriend’s housing dilemma may be just about solved now. He’s managed to get five people to agree to sign the lease for the labyrinthine house that lies about about a mile away from College Avenue. I guess the boys can rest assured that they won’t be forced to live with icky, sticky girls like me, M, and Rai… Now all I have to do is make sure I have my own apartment situation figured out. If it boils down to living above the bar for another year, I don’t have a problem with that, but I would like the landlord to get back to me some time this century. If I did get to move to the upstairs apartment–even if I had to live with Rai–then I wouldn’t have to go to the boyfriend’s house all the time to get away from all of the hubbub.

Despite all of those stressful elements, what I’m most worried about right now is getting my thesis proposal over with so I can get an A in the first half of Comparative Literature Honors and then just get started writing the thesis itself. This week, the boyfriend and I planned to do nothing but relax, but I might at least get some reading in tomorrow while he’s hanging out with a mutual friend of ours. Due to a variety of planned illegal activities for tonight, I don’t think I’m going to be able to get up early enough to meet with one of my advisers for my prospective individualized major is Soil Science. Thus, after this weekend’s visit with the boyfriend’s parents, I’m going to spend the rest of the remaining week of Winter Recess trying to write at least the first 20 pages of my thesis. That would leave only 25 or so more pages for the remaining semester–difficult, but doable. This past Fall, I watched the boyfriend hammer out a 15 page paper in a night, so with enough fire under my ass, I can write at least 20 pages in a week. I’ll work on getting my library privileges returned, getting my bibliography completed, and then all I’ll have to do is read and write. I may try to dedicate at least 10 hours a day working on it. Not to mention all of the precalculus I have to brush up on before the semester starts. It seems the break may be more stressful than the actual semester… Nah.

Since there are only seven blogs (including my own) in the African American subcategory of the Living category, and the other six don’t seem to post very often, it is no wonder that my blog, Black in College, should be the featured blog of that subcategory. I suppose I’m not surprised that there aren’t too many other black bloggers on Today.com. It takes a while to really start getting hits on one’s blog–not to mention that Today.com doesn’t pay out until the blogger reaches $50. I, for one, feel very encouraged to be blogging with Today.com. I can track my progress up to the minute with the VIP Statistics, to see how people are getting here. With the increased traffic, I haven’t felt as guilty for not posting everyday.

In housing news, the boyfriend and I have been having some problems trying to find apartments with our flaky friends. We can’t condense houses, because Rai doesn’t want to live with The Poet and The Poet doesn’t want to live with Rai, so attempting to force these people to live with each other would just create even more problems. I went on a housing tour with the boyfriend and The Poet yesterday and one of the houses seemed like a decent option. It’s strangely labyrinthine in structure, with narrow corridors and boarded up walls here and there. Some of the walls looked like they had been plastered haphazardly. I can’t understand why he would rent out such a shabby place without offering to fix it up before the new tenants move in. The nice thing about the place is that there’s a finished basement with an additional kitchen. So if the boyfriend and I wanted to cook, there wouldn’t be a conflict with other people in the house. There are two bedrooms in the basement, so there could potentially be a bedroom, an office, and a living room-type area down there all for the boyfriend. He would have to pay a little more than the others, but it would be about what he’s paying now to share a disgusting bathroom and a disgusting kitchen with self-loathing loners. The major downside of the house is its location. It’s about a twenty minute walk from the College Avenue campus, and it’s nowhere near the Douglass campus. If the boyfriend gets a car from his parents then he could potentially drive to class, but I hate kids who do that.

In terms of housemates, my situation is less confusing. I already know who I’m going to be living with. The problem is where. Besides the bar, I haven’t been able to find a place that includes utilities and is a fair price. I just don’t see the point in moving into a three bedroom apartment, paying $550 a month, and then having to pay utilities for a room that won’t be able to hold any of my stuff. If the guys in the upstairs apartment decide they want to move out for the 2009-2010 academic year, then Rai and I will move up there. It’s only $25 more a month, and if M decides to stay at the bar, then we could all share the internet bill as long as we find a couple more people to take the remaining rooms. If the housing for the boyfriend falls through, then we’ve considered moving up there ourselves, although that may cause additional strain on our relationship. It’s close to College Avenue, but it’s not very close to where my classes are actually going to be, so that means taking the bus to and from class. Meh. I should purchase a bike anyway…

To add insult to injury, the boyfriend’s parents have been giving him a hard time with the housing situation. They think that if he moves out of his current house, then they’re going to have to help him move all of his stuff to his new abode. I told him to reassure them that he could do it himself if necessary; they’re warming up to the idea of his moving bit by bit, but it’s taking some convincing. In fact, he’s on the phone with them right now trying to talk some sense to them.

Amidst all of this stress, the boyfriend and I have managed to enjoy some minor copulations. The excitement initiated, because we thought his landlord would be arriving within minutes to give a tour of the house. We engaged in a passionate quickie–and the landlord never showed up.

Well, I’m back in New Jersey sitting at the boyfriend’s laptop trying to do a million things at once. I’ve been trying to check my grades, write articles, promote my blog, connect with other bloggers, etc. If I’m going to make this thing my part-time job, then this is what it’s going to take.

Anyway… the drive back to NJ was torturous initially, because my siblings and myself had to squeeze ourselves in the back of my mother’s tiny Rav4 for four hours during the ride to Pennsylvania to meet my step-father. First of all, we were late, which annoyed me because I was certain my step-father would have a fit. (Surprisingly, he did not.) And during the ride my mother only spoke with Michael (now her fiance, though she is not yet divorced). All they ever do is flirt and touch each other, and I really wish they could have calmed that down for my brother’s sake. Unlike my sister and I, my brother is new to this whole divorce thing and may need a little time to adjust. I know what he’s going through, and I can’t protect him.

Once we met up with my step-father, it was time to say good-bye. I knew my mother would be alright, because she has Michael to occupy her mind, but my sister is going to have a hard time. Her friends from high school are both in state colleges somewhere and she’s going to be starting school soon herself. They’re not going to be attending the same school, but I’m hoping she can make new friends there. I’ve been worried about her more than ever, because of all the drama that takes place with the family. She tries to make it seem like it doesn’t bother her, but I know she feels like she can’t relate to any of them. Even while I was in Ohio, she just sat on our mother’s laptop all day and checked messages from her online friends. She’s decently famous on Youtube (her video below) for making MGS music videos of both humorous and artistic value. If she would just get herself a cell phone I would be able to keep in better contact with her. Her undying love for the Metal Gear Solid franchise has made me want to buy a Playstation 3. Once my refund check for Spring 2009 comes along, I may do just that.

Of course, contact with anyone right now would be a lot easier if I could pay any of my bills. After splurging on all of the accessories for my apartment, I keep getting messages from Amazon and Netflix pestering me about the money I owe them.

But I digress: After the excruciating drive from Pennsylvania to NJ, I spent about an hour and a half opening presents from my step-father and watching Star Wars with my brother. Seeing the look on my little brother’s face after I told him I had to get on the train to New Brunswick would have broken your heart, too. Am I a good sister? I try to be, but all of the work I have to get done just seems to get in the way. Imagine if I was graduating and trying to hold down a job! Geez, I would never had any time to travel to see anyone. I’d have to build up “vacation days.” My step-father drove me to the PATH station and my little brother road along. If I could just pay my cell phone bill I’d be able to call him!

Back in New Brunswick, the boyfriend met me at the train station and I got a look at his new hair cut. At first I was sad because I like longer hair on men, but I realized that the shorter doo really brought out his facial structure more. He looks older too, which is obviously a turn on. Hah! If only I wasn’t on the rag, and then I’d be able to do something about these urges. We stopped by my place to pick up my space heater, and walked over to his frigid abode. After settling down, I noticed there were a couple small boxes and a round, furry hat sitting at the other side of the room. The boyfriend really went out of his way to try to make it up to me after our little incident over the phone while I was in Ohio. He got me a portable DVD player, a round, furry hat with leopard print, a pair of earrings, a bronze-colored shirt, and a collection of three of Phillip K. Dick’s novels, including

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?